Dear Anonymous,

You Don't Seem Supportive or Loyal

This answer probably won't satisfy you because I don't know enough information about your situation, but at first glance, you don't seem very supportive, loyal, or dedicated!

All couples have unresolvable disagreements and problems, especially under the pressue of a wedding, but if you are loyal and dedicated to a relationship, you don't give up on it – check a dictionary if you don't believe me.

Being Engaged Means You Don't Run Away, Then Return

My first impression is that once you have become engaged, backing out of it is a very extreme response. It goes against the whole idea of marriage. In my opinion, when you are at that point, you stay and work towards a compromise that can satisfy both partners. Or you leave and don't look back. You don't run away, then come back and complain about dealing with the pain you caused by leaving.

I Don't Blame Her

You are way off base. Her reaction was over the top.

If I was your fiancée, I would feel very, very hurt and insecure about your dedication to the relationship. I don't think she is playing at all, she is devastated. Don't blame her for being heart-broken, socially embarrassed, not trusting the depth of your love, and wanting you to feel as much pain as she does. You put this train in motion. She was trusting and dedicated to you, in spite of your problems, and you pulled the rug out from under her.

It DID Happen to Her

She is right, it did only happen to her, and not to you. You didn't have Shannon tell you that she wasn't sure she still wanted to marry you – you did that to her. Because it didn't happen to you, you aren't seeing how devastating that was. She hasn't been torturing you on purpose, I think that since you two have problems communicating, she is communicating her pain to you the only way she feels she can. Again, this is without knowing the problems that were bothering you.

Acting As If It Never Happened

Wait a sec. You can't blame it ALL on him. They have BOTH been beaten up.

What I think is that you were misguided to think you can do this to a woman, then come back and have her open her heart and arms to you like it never happened.

She is hurt, confused and pissed! If I was her, just the idea of opening myself up to the possibility of being betrayed like that again would make me feel stupid and angry.

Concern for Only Yourself

But t hat's a healthy response. He SHOULD make himself top priority.

I think you are very lucky that she is still willing to admit to you that she loves you at all. And still you are only concerned with making sure you get good treatment if you go back! Are you willing to promise her that you won't throw her love back in her face again? You had better be concerned with building back the trust you ruined by leaving (which may have more to do with your fear of commitment than anything she did), than worrying about her reations to your fluctuating moods.

Don't Go Back Unless You Can Handle the Original Problems

Please don't go back with her again unless you can handle the original problems that led to the break-up.

Good Luck to you.
– Patra