Dear Mark:

Don't Marry Anyone

It sounds like there are too many red flags flying right now around your relationship with Zoe to seriously consider getting married to her, or to anyone for that matter.

Telling Zoe Will Only Hurt Her

I don't agree. Zoe has a right to decide for herself.

You are not ready to settle down but you do NOT have to give Zoe every detail as to why. I feel it is important to let Zoe know that you do not feel ready to settle down and feel it would be unfair to her to do this right now. Tell her how much you care for her and be honest about that, but do not "confess" to her you are sleeping with someone else. Why do that? It will only hurt her. Being honest about this will only help you, not Zoe. It would be a selfish move on your part.

Marry for the Right Reason

You need to sort out your long-term feelings for Emma and Zoe, and you can't do that with a commitment hanging over your head. Break free and figure out what is right for all of you. Just because someone would make "a good wife" is not a reason to dedicate the rest of your life to her. Marry for love, not because someone meets your laundry list of requirements for a spouse.

Your Straying Will Continue After Marriage

If you are starting to stray now, you can be sure that it will continue if you marry. Don't head down that road. Nobody wins.

Best of luck. Let us know how things go.

-- Miss Kitty