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Dear Raquel,
He
Is Eighteen
Ah, the joy of 18 year
old guys!
To tell you the truth,
most of them have NO idea what the heck they want. One day they
want a serious relationship, the next day they want their freedom.
It sounds like Paul fits this mold.
Support
Him
Unfortunately for you,
there is nothing you can do to help him along the process of deciding.
You can certainly be there for him, offering your support and friendship,
because he needs that right now.
However, I must warn
you against getting hurt. It might be tough for you to just be there
for him because you do have feelings for him. It would certainly
be understandable that you'd be angry with him, for leading you
on and then either ignoring you or being mean.
He
Is Confused
I think that he definitely
cares about you, and that hurts him in a way because it makes deciding
much harder. I believe this is why he tells you how much he wants
to be with you one day, and then calls you telling you he doesn't
want to lose his lifestyle the next.
He has to realize that
relationships involve compromise, and that some give and take will
be needed to make it work. (If he ultimately decides that a relationship
is what he wants. It may not end up that way.)
He'll
Be Ready When He's Consistent
Anyway, I understand
that your feelings are hard to control. I've been infatuated with
a couple guys just like Paul, and it is never easy. I think you
should certainly stay Paul's friend. You'll know when he's ready
for something when he remains consistent. But realize it might be
a while.
Meet
Others To See If He Cares
Instead of waiting around
to get hurt, try to meet some other guys. Flirt a little. You never
know who you may meet. If this leads Paul to come to a major realization,
then good. (Make sure it's not just jealousy though!)
Anyway, don't let him
play you. It's cool to be flattered by what he says, but know that
there are other guys out there who do know they want!
– Diva
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