Dear sooo confused,

More Drastic Than Underage Porn

This is a sticky situation. I could compare it appropriately to a guy watching underage porn, only to a more drastic degree.

The reason that many men like underage girls is because they are fantasies; an opportunity to corrupt an innocent girl, a girl with little experience. It gives man a feeling of domination, which is observable in other situations such as sports, rape, gambling, etc. Whether it be through watching porn or by actually involving himself with younger girls, he is achieving this domination.

He Thinks It's a Fantasy

Obviously, there is a major problem; he is committed to you.

Perhaps in his opinion, his involvement with a girl online is not cheating, just as most men feel that masturbation is not cheating, nor is looking at other women. His involvement with a girl online is probably just his trying to achieve his fantasy. But he did cross the line significantly. Her attendence at his games, his giving out his phone number, is a sign of his/her interest in one another for more than an online relationship.

Now my questions for you are these:

• How did you find out about this online relationship?
  
• How did you find out about her coming to his games and his giving out his phone number?
• Did he tell you these things?
• Does he act like he is trying to hide them?

To Him, Informing You Is Not Cheating

If he is really open about this situation with you, my guess is that he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong, just as most guys feel about looking at porn and masturbating. But, if you have found out about it on your own, my guess is that there is a bigger problem at hand. He is probably keeping it from you because he knows it's wrong.

You need to tell him how much this bothers you; that you consider this relationship he has cheating.

Obviously, you need to confront him seriously about this. It sounds like he is important enough to you, that you would want to save this relationship.

Age Is Not the Issue

Of course it's an issue – it's just plain trashy.

And why did I not mention much about the girl being 16...? Well it really isn't even an issue. Would it matter as much if he was doing it with a 40 year old? Probably not. The interpretation that I can make as a young male, is that he gets more excitement from her being young, innocent, and
immature.

Give Him a Spicier Sex Life

Are you nuts? Why should she try to entice him? There is no roo for cheating.

Knowing that he fantasizes about being with a younger girl that he can dominate, could it tempt you to make your love life more exciting? Try spicing things up.

I think he's already proven he's a fool. She certainly doesn't need to prove it to him. – Jeannie

Maybe try throwing him off guard with something kinky or wild that would impress him and make him a fool to go for another girl than to stay with you.

Good luck, I hope things work out.
– Carl