This isn't to say that Chris isn't worth it; but it is to say that your RELATIONSHIP with Chris may not be worth it. It is hard to explain the difference, but I'll try. Chris may be a wonderful person; he is well travelled, romantic, loving, and independent. You, on the other hand, describe yourself as insecure and emotional. There is something you disagree about (his living situation) and he tells you it isn't going to change and to get over it; you can't get over it.

He Won't Help Your Insecurities

Maybe, instead of focusing on the threat that his roommate poses to your relationship, think about the threat that your very different emotional mindsets poses to the relationships. You need someone who will help you develop your own sense of security and independence and he doesn't seem to be willing (or able?) to do this. And you also seem to be worrying that his bipolar disorder may lead to lapses in judgment and/or commitment from him – and you need a little more stability.

Your Need To Develop

Sorry to be so negative about the possibilities, here, but I just think taking a step back, looking at the relationship in a cold hard light, and assessing YOUR needs as a developing adult is in order. Sometimes we rush so fast into adult situations (like moving in together or building relationships) that we forget to take time and reflect about the kind of adult we want to be and the steps it will take to get there.

Give Yourself Time

Give yourself a little time. Spend some time reflecting, and talking with people that you DO trust to help you build your self-esteem and sense of control. Then, if you choose, enter into the relationship with both eyes open.

Good luck.
– Judith