Dear Panel,
I am a 24 year old man who lives in Chicago.
For most of my adult life I have been living with clinical
depression.
2 years ago, I met a smart, ambitious, independent,
and attractive woman named Wendy. We fell head over heels
in love with each other within weeks of our first date. Unfortunately,
I was struggling with depression, and my illness really took
its toll on our relationship. It didn't help things either
when I introduced her to my incredibly conservative family!
My father got into such a heated argument with her that he
told me, right in front of her, that she is no good for me!
I tried my best to keep the relationship afloat,
but what I really needed was help for my depression. Wendy
was very giving, and was very supportive. Unfortunately, my
family and friends formed their opinions about her, and blamed
her for my misery. She decided to leave me, and left to attend
law school in California. That was 9 months ago.
Since then, I have recovered, thanks to therapy
and medication, and I have never felt better!
Last month, Wendy e-mailed me out of the blue
and told me that she wanted to see me again, so that she can
return some of my things. Well, when we met again, we fell
in love again, and with me feeling better, our love seems
stronger. During those 9 months we were apart, with no communication
between us whatsoever, we have never stopped loving each other.
Just last week she asked me to join her in California.
I have been wanting to make a career change for 2 years, and
I want to go to graduate school. I'm really thinking about
taking her up on her offer, but am I acting hastily?
I really love her, but I realize that I am spineless.
I would be taking a big chance by quiting my job (which is
a family owned business), selling my home, and most likely
greatly upsetting my family (who hates her).
All I know is that I never forgave myself for
letting her get away the first time, and I really think that
if I pass on this chance now, my decision will haunt me for
the rest of my life.
Do you have any suggestions?
– Alex
age 24, Chicago
Charlie,
Mr. Survivor,
Sabrina,
Sistergirl,
and Sunshine
answer this question.
