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Dear Virgin,
Good Luck
If you meet your ideal virgin man I think you will be very lucky.
There are several issues here.
Finding Virgin Men in your Age Bracket Is Unrealistic
First off: There is nothing wrong with not having sex with someone
if you're not comfortable. That is your right. However, if you are
dating men in your age bracket it is unrealistic to believe you
will find many that are virgins. If your boyfriend is not someone
you see yourself with in the long run, then don't even consider
sex.
People Have Pasts
Second: Is it just women that your boyfriend has slept with or
is it all women he has dated? As you well know things can be done
intimately without having sex. When you are dating people in their
20's they usually have a past with other people.
Discuss the Past
Some people will tell you never to discuss past relationships with
your partner. I say the opposite, you should discuss your past.
However, when it comes to sex only a few things need to be discussed:
- How many partners?
- Have you ever been tested for AIDS and STDs?
That is it, end of story.
Never Compare Sexual Experiences
You shouldn't compare or discuss sexual experiences, ever. This
may leave you wondering, but it's still better than picturing an
ex with your man.
Think Only of Him
I think you need to be realistic and learn to accept that a person's
past comes with the package. My recommendation on how to do that:
It may have been done before with someone else but every experience
is unique and special. He is with you because he wants to be with
you, not the women in his past. He is only thinking of you, not
them. Give him the respect of thinking only of him.
Be Safe
Third: Be educated about AIDS and STDs regardless of what you decide
to do. And use protection it is cheaper in the long run than diapers
or hospital bills.
– Berly
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