Dear Emily,

I Understand

It is understandable that you feel the way you do. You are a virgin and have strong feelings about remaining that way till marriage. It sounds like you find sex as an intimate experience that should be shared with only people you care for.

Others Don't Agree with You

But, other people do not feel the same way, and you have to be understanding and respecful of that. Some people see nothing wrong with having casual sex and having multiple sex partners. I personally think that people should only have sex with people they truly love and respect, and that it should be 100% open and honest.

A Treasured Experience

It hurts to know that the one you love has shared such an intimate experience with someone other than you; that an experience that you treasure and feel so strongly about, may not be this way for the one you love. I wouldn't necessarily come to the conclusion that he couldn't control himself in the past. Some people just don't see much reason to abstain from sex until marriage.

Comparing Is Bad

Comparing your sexual experience to other girl's he may have been with should not really be a concern. Everyone is different and if he is respectful of your obligation to remain a virgin, he should respect your sexual performance. When I am intimate with a woman, I do not compare her to another that I've been with even if she isn't very experienced. If you think he is using techniques he's used with other girls, why would this be a bad thing?

Experience Is Good

Improving one's sexual performance comes from experience. He has probably found certain things that he has learned from other women to work so he uses them with you.

But there is a lot these women have rubbed off on him: sweat, fluids, etc. Sex is gross.

It's not that these women have rubbed off on him, but he has probably learned things that make intimacy more pleasurable for YOU. And when you are with him, do you not do things that you tried with other men? If you found that touching a previous boyfriend in a certain way really turned him on, you would be crazy not to give it a try with your current boyfriend.

You're Special

It is a difficult condition you are in. Most people in the modern world do not remain virgins until marriage. Sex is sometimes taken too lightly, as is pregnancy, divorce, STDs. You are a special kind of person. I would think that you find these issues to be important and not to be taken lightly.

It's Difficult To Be Picky

I agree – assuming she wants someone close to her own age,it may be difficult to find a partner who is a virgin.

Ideally, you would like to meet someone who feels the same way you do, but in today's world it may be too difficult to be so picky. Live your life the way you feel you should. Don't disobey your conscience and morals in order to feel better about your situation; you will regret it most likely. Perhaps in the future, you will meet that great guy that will have dreamed that he would one day meet you and you could share your intimacy with each other. And your ability to experience such a great thing together for the first time will make it that much more special.

– Carl