Dear Quinie,

It seems as though you've gone through a rough time mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I think it's great you're seeking professional help. Depression is a serious matter.

I think its also great that this guy may have a possible interest in you. I'm a little worried about what you're getting into though. I think you need to take some time out for Quinie.

Understand Yourself

You've been beaten down emotionally and physically. Your concern shouldn't be about men right now, but how you can gain a better understanding of why you were attracted to your abuser. The fact that the guy you mentioned is similar in some ways to your ex is scary. He may seem different and that may in fact be true, but let's not find out.

You Don't HaveTo Him About Your Abuse

You don't have to tell him about your abuse until you are absolutely certain you are ready. Its no one's business but yours, anyway.

Stay Away from Abusers

Do yourself a favor, stay away from this guy until you're completely healthy enough to make fair assessment of him. The last thing you need is to get involved with another abuser.

Strengthen Yourself First

Start finding out about yourself and what you want from your life. Don't worry about men, they've been on this earth for so long that they aren't going anywhere. What you should be doing, Quinie, is working on making yourself stronger so you're never subject to that kind of abuse ever again. It's already cost you too much.

Stay Away from Guys

Trust me when I suggest to you to forget about this guy. You need time to heal and you can't do that when you have distractions. And if you find yourself losing track of things, get into your studies, exercise, hang out with your girl friends... I don't care what you do, just stay away from guys. You are very vulnerable right now.

Quinie time? YES

Guys? NOOOOOOO!

Sincerely,
– Mar :)