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Dear "like 2 B happy",
It depends on what "having lunch" means.
"Lunch" Has a Different Meaning
You're dealing with really different ways of doing business here.
When someone in construction eats lunch with a coworker, it's probably
a social transaction. Lunch time to a blue collar worker is off
the clock, and therefore not work related. (At least in my experience,
which hasn't been
all that long)
Business Lunches
But in an office, especially on an upwardly-mobile track, lunch
is often a part of the work day where business is conducted, like
your lunch with the hiring director.
I think what "most husbands" would find inappropriate,
or be put off by, is the idea of their wives "dating"
another man – that is, seeing him socially, alone. Guys who
are used to business lunches likely wouldn't be bothered by their
wives having them unless they have other reasons for suspicion.
A Power Issue
But this isn't part of your husband's world, so it's hard for him
to understand. Is it possible that he feels a little uneasy with
your "moving up" in the world?
Maybe he's afraid of losing you if you get "above" him
or start spending a lot of time – work or social – with
more powerful businessmen. Imagine if the situation were reversed
– how would you feel? It might not be so much about lunch,
or other men, as about power.
Still, as you say business lunches are "totally normal"
in office environments and your career probably won't advance if
you avoid them. It sounds to me like you and your husband need to
talk over all his reasons for feeling uneasy with your business
lunches and yours for needing to "do lunch" as a career
building tool. Address each other's concerns (and express your own)
regardless of how "silly" or "trivial" they
might seem when stated flat out.
Strictly Business
If it's possible, it might also help for your husband to meet the
guys you work with, and their wives, and see that your relationship
to these men is strictly business.
– Jena
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