Dear 2 B Happy:

Jealousy

It's not jealousy – it's a power issue.

You didn't mention how long you have been married. There is a jealousy issue here that should be addressed sooner rather than later or it is going to spring up repeatedly in your marriage.

I was in a relationship once upon a time with a very jealous man. His fits of jealousy were never warranted and always inappropriate. The problem never went away, it only got worse over time and finally his inappropriate jealousy rages wore me down. I highly recommend that you address this important problem in your relationship now before it destroys the bond and the sense of security and love between you.

Business Lunches Are Appropriate

It is appropriate for you to have lunch and socialize with the people (men AND women) you work with. It is important to communicate this to your husband and explain, as I'm sure you have already done, how this is one of the ways your work world is different than his.

Reassure Him

It is also important to reassure your husband about your feelings towards him. By this, I do not mean that you should call him every hour on the hour and tell him that you are being faithful that particular moment of the day. However, it is important to feed a relationship on a regular basis so that trust can grow strong over time. It sounds as though he needs that reassurance and you should give it freely and often.

Professional Counseling?

If this does not help to soothe his jealousy "flare-ups", it may be time to seek a professional's help as a couple and discuss this issue. Find out what his true fears are all about. It may be something that runs deep that has nothing whatsoever to do with you. He will need to work on and resolve this before the insecurity gets out of hand. It sounds as though it might already be on its merry way.

Communication and reassurance are the orders of the day. If these tools do not work, go on to the next step.

Keep us posted on how things go.

– Miss Kitty