Dear Panel,

We Never Argue

My name is Jay, and I have been with my girlfriend Amy for over three years now. Our Relationship has been an off and on one. For the most part the time we have together is great. We never argue, and were always there for each other when needed.

Amy and My Friends Will Never Mix

The few problems we do have, we are both quite open about. The foremost I can think of is the issue of my friends. My girlfriend and my friends are like oil and water. They will never mix.

It's not just that we are different – they are mean and offensive.

She just doesn't like them. I can understand, they are after all, two different kinds of people.

I Feel Trapped When She Clings

The problem that is most reoccurring is our breakups. We go through periods of bliss, usually 5-7 months, and then everything comes crashing down. I am always the one who has done the leaving, and they usually happen around periods of great stress in both of our lives.

I'm not clingy. I get upset when I feel neglected.

When things get tough, Amy tends to cling to me a bit more, and I begin to feel trapped.

I Don't Deserve Her

I sometimes find it hard to live up to the view she has of me. I don't say expectations for a reason. She sees me as this ultimately good thing. She doesn't expect anything of me, but it's hard to know that the way she sees me and the way I am are two different things. I
feel like any second she'll see me for who I really am, and that is someone who doesn't deserve her.

I don't know how much more information you need, but
I'm more than willing to provide it. I hope what I have told you can help both Amy and I on our road to figuring out how to make this work.

– Jay
Male, age 20, New England