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Dear Jasmina,
He Doesn't Think It's Necessary
I'll get right to the point: I suspect Don isn't breaking up with
his girlfriend because he doesn't feel it's necessary to maintain
the situation he has with you.
"C" Is for Convenience
Not to sound too harsh, but given the fact that he has been cheating
on his girlfriend with you for over half of their relationship,
I don't think "commitment" is a part of his vocabulary.
Indeed, I think the only "C" word he applies to a relationship
is "convenience."
Look at it this way: you treat him like a king, he gets to enjoy
having sex with you, and he gets your undivided attention... all
of this WITHOUT a commitment! Why would Don add the responsibility
of commitment, if he's already getting all he needs from your relationship?
No Excuse To Commit
That's also, I think, part of the reason he hasn't broken up with
his present girlfriend. Don isn't looking for a commitment, and
even though he may not be 100% satisfied with his girlfriend, it
provides for him a convenient excuse not to commit to you.
He's Acting According to Your Agreement
In all fairness, though, this was a potentially problematic situation
to begin with. You made an agreement that the affair was "just
sex and having fun." No provisions were made for the possibility
of becoming emotionally involved, and Don is acting within the bounds
of that agreement. As painful as it may be to hear, you couldn't
have reasonably expected this to become a mutually loving relationship,
when from day one, that was never the intent.
He's Not Mature Enough
Despite your feelings for Don, I don't believe that at this point
in his life, Don is mature enough to reciprocate. It's probably
just as well... who is to say that if he "committed" to
you, he wouldn't cheat on you with someone else?
Don't Let Him Use You
Don't let yourself be used. Don's "beauty, brain, and body"
are meaningless if he's lacks the ability to respect you. Go find
a man who can respect you as well as excite you... you'll be better
off for it.
– Shaggy
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