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Dear Anonymous,
I Applaud You
First of all, I want to applaud you for taking a stand for what
you believe in and not caving in to his pressure. That can be hard
to do, but it sounds like you have handled the situation with integrity
and honesty.
That Perfect Moment
Imagine how neat it will be on your wedding day when you give
yourself to your husband, knowing that you had the self-control
to wait for that perfect moment. How cool!!
He Is Shying Away from the Stand You Took
From what you described, I wouldn't be surprised if he is shying
away from you because of the stand you took. What bothers me is
that even after you told him how you feel about the sex issue, he
still pursued it a couple of times. That shows me that he doesn't
really respect your wishes and was maybe trying to see how far he
could push you or maybe change your mind in the midst of "the
moment".
He's More Concerned with His Own Pleasure
If he is demonstrating a lack of respect for you and your feelings
on this issue, then perhaps he really doesn't want to pursue the
relationship, since he is not getting what he wants out of it (a
really selfish perspective, in my opinion). Even when you asked
him to stop, he said he couldn't and then made you leave??? Clearly
he is more concerned with his own pleasure than your feelings.
Potential Danger
My advice would be to walk away and not pursue this. He clearly
can't handle not getting what he wants physically, and there is
a potential danger that he may either force himself on you, or pressure
you to the point where it becomes difficult to stand your ground.
Finf Someone with the Same Goals
I would look for someone who has the same goals in regard to abstinence
and working toward marriage, and who respects you – someone
who is looking not for what they can get out of the relationship
(or your body in particular), but who views dating relationships
as a way to build a healthy foundation for marriage and to meet
each other's emotional and spiritual needs.
– Hope
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