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Should I approach her if I am not sure it will work?

Jassy Answers:

Tony –

Reader Xcetacous

What kind of guy? He's exactly like me.

After reading your email, you had my mind racing – what kind of a guy is this? What does he want? Does he really like this girl? What the heck is he afraid of?

No Wonder You Never Had a Girlfriend

Saibhin
I agree. If that's what he believes, he should seek an alternative lifestyle.

OK, you say you never had a girlfriend, and you're not sure why. I'll tell you why; you say:

"I believe a guy shouldn't speak to a girl unless he's sincerely interested in her; unless the guy is 100% absolutely sure there will not be any sort of emotion going on during the conversation."

HELLO??? Wake up there, Tony – if ALL guys did this, guys and girls would NEVER talk! You need to loosen up and put yourself out there in the dating world – talk to ALL sorts of people WITHOUT any expectations. Then you'll meet more people. I mean how can you tell by looking at someone if there is going to be some kind of emotional relationship? The answer to this may surprise you.

You're Being Superficial

Saibhin
You're right. Attraction isn't love.

Now onto your girl dilemma: you say that this girl is beautiful and you like her more and more each day, BUT you have NEVER talked to her! How can you like her more and more? You don't even know what kind of person she is! She are being superficial and looking at her from the outside only – it's unfair to judge her this way.

If you WANT to REALLY get to know her, TALK to her! She is not going to bite! Try to spark up a conversation if you want to get to know her. Saying "hi...what's up?" is a simple enough start.

You're a Control Freak

Saibhin
Yes, and he's in for a rude awakening when he realizes that her life won't revolve around him.

Something in your email REALLY disturbed me: you wrote, "if I manage to get to talk to her and even become her friend. Will I be able to control the relationship?"

TheLoyalMan
I would like to add that Tony reminds me a lot of myself...

WHAT? Control the relationship? Excuse me BUT why would you want to control someone? She SHOULDN'T be controlled – and you shouldn't want to control her!

For that reason alone she wouldn't want to go out with you. (And I wouldn't blame her!) Trust me, girls don't want to feel owned and controlled.

You're Wasting Time by Stalling

Alexander

I completey agree with this answer.

Anyway, after all that, if you really want to talk to her DO it already – you're just wasting time by stalling.

Good luck (to her and to you)

Jassy

 

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