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Dear Amanda,
Wow. You should indeed feel older. That's a lot to go through before
you turn 16, much less 35.
You'll Need To Act More Grown Up
But here's where you are going to have to act more grown up than
you ever have before. You're going to have to make some decisions
that are very difficult to carry through on, but are absolutely
necessary if you are ever going to have a normal, loving relationship
in the future.
Worry About Telling Chris That It's Over
Sex isn't love. At least not in this case. Maybe not in any case.
You yourself recognize that your boyfriend is treating you worse
than most people treat their most hated enemies. This is NOT someone
you should be with. This is NOT someone you can't live without.
The only thing you should be worried about is telling him that it
is over between the two of you.
It's VERY difficult, especially at such a young age,
but take this time to gain confidence in yourself. You CAN live
without a boyfriend who treats you poorly, uses you for sex, has
a drug problem and doesn't love you.
Separate Yourself Sexually and Emotionally
You deserve better, no matter what you may have done with Jesse.
I'm sure that being with Jesse is almost comforting after having
been with Chris. But you need to seperate yourself from BOTH of
these men sexually and emotionally until you can figure yourself
out.
Chris Does Not Love You
So, in closing, as brutal as this is, Chris does NOT love you.
And someday you will realize that you don't love him and that you
can never truly love someone that hurts you and takes advantage
of you in these ways.
Call Chris, be strong, tell him it's over because you deserve better
and move on.
Don't Sleep with Jesse
Keep Jesse as a friend if you must, but do not sleep with him.
You need to sort your life out. Find confidence in yourself and
then enter another relationship. You'll feel better and then know
that a man treating you well isn't just a luxury, but a REQUIREMENT!
– Colleen
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