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Amanda, honey,
Take three steps backward and think about all of this very carefully.
I Was Innocent at 15
At the age of fifteen, I used to go to the mall and shop. I used
to baby-sit occasionally for friends of my parents. I even had a
crush on a boy or two and some of my friends had boyfriends who
they had barely kissed.
Try to think about the future consequences of the actions that
you are taking right now. Why do you feel the need to have sex with
all these boys?
They're Using You
It sounds to me like they are using you. Not many 20-something
year old guys are able to find intellectually stimulating conversation
with a fifteen-year-old. You are in two different chapters of your
lives and you are trying to grow up way too fast.
While I understand your dilemma, I have a hard time giving you
"love advice" because, quite honestly, I feel that you
should not be with either one of these guys. Chris is using you
for sex and Jesse is too – even though you think you are using
him.
What Is Going On with Your Family?
Your need to grow up so fast makes me wonder what is going on with
your family? Where are your parents while all of this is going on?
Do they know that you are sleeping around at the age of 15?
Get Tested
It is also very important that you are being safe and using protection
of some sort. There are way too many diseases out there for you
to take this lightly and, in fact, I would recommend that you get
yourself tested. How many other girls have these boys been having
sex with? Also, are you ready to be a mother?
With regard to your actual question about how to deal with these
two boys:
Lose Chris
Chris treats you horribly – lose him. I know that is hard
to do when you think you love him, but hopefully in the future you
will come to realize that that is not what true love is – true
love is two people loving one another unconditionally and treating
each other well – not being an asshole, as you described Chris.
Be Honest with Jesse
As far as Jesse, if he was in jail he sounds like he could also
be bad news. If you don't like him, don't sleep with him –
be honest, because that's how you would want someone to be with
you.
Stop Sleeping Around
Amanda, please, be safe, get yourself tested, and stop sleeping
around. Sleeping with multiple guys is not the answer to your problems
– whatever they may be. You need to figure out what is making
you so unhappy or confused that you are seeking the love and attention
from these MUCH older guys who want nothing more than to use you
for sex.
You're an Easy Target
Be careful – it's a cruel world out there, and you are an
easy target that guys will take advantage of and in the end you
will get hurt.
Perpetuating a Bad Reputation
You say that you are overcoming a bad reputation, but it sounds
to me like you are perpetuating it, and maybe that in itself should
be a reason to change your behavior. You don't want to become known
as the "easy lay" or "that slut" – no girl
wants to be called these terrible names. But if you continue to
sleep around with much older guys, your reputation will only get
worse.
– Foxy
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