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I do agree that if he isn't willing to respect her boundaries
and her decisions, then he's more into himself than he is
into her.
And honestly, that's something that you, Lotte, should
find out NOW rather than later.
Stand for your convictions
You have made a decision for yourself, which you have every
right to make and you should stand tall and proud in that
choice. When and if you choose to move forward in that manner,
it should be for all the right reasons...and not the wrong
guy.
Sex vs. Intimacy
There is no way around it, sex DOES change the dynamics
of a relationship. There is a BIG different, however, between
sex and intimacy.
I think often times people (women especially) look at sex
in a relationship as a sign of growing closer to their significant
other. But I can tell you from experience that Sex does
not Intimacy make and intimacy can be present in the relationship
without sex.
Sex is...
Sex is physical. Sex is lust. It's hormones raging, it's
attraction, it's chemical, and it's a natural body reaction
to someone you are attracted to. Sex can be MORE than all
of this, and should be...but that involves intimacy. Sex
on it's own merits is a great physical feeling. But for
any lasting connection, it requires the emotion and the
trust and connection behind the scenes. Kind of like a play...you
can have the actors on stage saying their lines and making
the motions, but until the stage is set, it looks like just
a bunch of words and motions.
Intimacy is...
Intimacy is more about your emotional connection with each
other. It's different to everyone, so I don't think I could
really describe what it would be to you...I just know how
it feels to me. It's something that gives you strength,
it's that warm feeling inside when you think about that
person, the fact that you can't help but smile when they
cross your mind, and it is something to build on. It's an
almost tangible connection with another person that builds
in your heart and your mind. And if you find the right intimate
connection with someone, the physical can wait. End of story.
Consider yourself worth the wait
Rather than looking at your guy and wondering if he's willing
to hang out and wait around for you to change your mind,
try reminding yourself that YOU are worth the effort and
worth the wait. And if he is worth his weight in gold, he
will know that. If he doesn't know and believe that you
are worth it, he isn't worth YOUR time.
– Jeannie
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