Dear Panel,
I am a half white, half Mexican-American, in
college, insecure about relationships, jealous at times, dedicated
to school, and the person to whom I happened to be involved
with at any given time.
She is a Latina, dedicated to school, involved
in church, who wants me to take interest in church, has too
many friends, too involved in family affairs, and is stubborn
as all hell.
Her mother: far too close to my girl, and is
informed of virtually everything we do an plan on doing. The
mother really likes me, but sees me as a threat because she
actually thinks I'm "the one" (I know this because
she's told me, jokingly I think).
I was introduced to this girl last April through
my mom's best friend's sister (complicated story, but everyone's
has known everyone else since high school). So, essentially,
the whole family knows me. We talked for 3 months, and recently
we decided to date exclusively. I really enjoy her, and actually
(for the first time ever) have pictured myself with her for
the future. I know she pictures us together in the future
as well, and know she already cares deeply about me.
I have two all-consuming problems.
She Wants Me To Participate in Her Church Life
First, she is very adamant about her church
life, and wants deeply for me to take part in that part of
her life. I am a Christian, but I do not attend church. She
believes we SHOULD go together and everything else that goes
with being involved with God (e.g.: no sex, drinking, cigs,
fun... just kidding).
Should I take an active role in church, or should
I be stubborn and ruin a possible fruitful relationship?
She Won't Change
Secondly, we are both very stubborn individuals.
Over the last few months, I have begun to change my ways,
and have become more accepting of others. She, on the other
hand, has stayed stubborn, much to my complaining, and thinks
her stubbornness is good, somehow.
Is there anything I can do to help her change?
I mean, I've began to change for the sake of US, why can't
she?
Will her stubbornness and religious beliefs end our relationship?
Male, age 21, California, USA
Bailey,
Judith,
Lefty,
and Mr. Survivor
answer this question.
