Dear Beans,

Are you ever getting what you want?

I so agree with you, Aaron. It does seem like she's "trying very, very hard to please him".

It's great that you're willing to compromise, but I'm worried that you're always giving in. Take a look at what you've said:

He knows that I don't like going and he always offers to do something else, but I feel bad cause I know he'd rather be at the club.

Take Up His Offers

I agree. See how he reacts.

You said he offers to do something else. If you want to do something else, there is your chance to go out to dinner, or a movie, or a museum, or to the beach, or whatever you'd like to do.

Men Won't Fix It If It Ain't Broke

Exactly. He doesn't know anything's wrong until she speaks up. As far as he knows, everything is just GREAT. She's being a relationship martyr.

You're obviously smitten with him, and it looks like you're trying very, very hard to please him. Consider, however, that most men will look at a situation and say "if it ain't broke, don't try to fix it." As far as he can tell, if you go to the clubs with him even though he offers to do something else, your situation ain't broke.

Most Guys Want To Please

Also consider that a lot of guys (at least the ones you ought to want to be with) enjoy making their girlfriend or wife happy! Let him take you where you want to go – it might make him value the relationship more!

Drop Him If He Sulks

If, on the other hand, he pouts and sulks when you take him up on his offer to do something else, then it's clear that he is not concerned with your happiness. If that's the case, then you should drop him faster than you can say "selfish pig."

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