This situation seems a little more problematic than just one that needs more compromise.

Beans says that she knows her boyfriend would "rather be at the club" and that she feels she "can't be herself" around him – not just his friends, but HIM.

He's Not Concerned with Her Preferences

He probably thinks everything is just fine.

If her side of the story is accurate, then he's not all that concerned with her preferences. What sort of relationship is it when one of the partners doesn't feel comfortable saying what he/she really thinks and wants?

I agree that it would be a different situation if it made Beans feel content, and if her boyfriend's company made her happy enough, but it's pretty clear here that something about this relationship is making her UNhappy.

She needs to take him up on his offer.

My suggestion would be to more frequently take him up on his offer of doing things besides clubbing. That way she'll either end up calling his bluff and see what a jerk he is or find out that he really DOESN'T mind giving her special attention--away from the clubs.

If he's offering to go clubless more often, she should by all means take advantage of the opportunity. It's his own fault for saying so if he doesn't really mean it.

People in general need to quit telling others things because it's what they think their friends and loved ones want to hear, and not because it's what they honestly feel.

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