Brandan and Nickers:

Bad Idea

It's not a bad idea – they shouldn't give up without a fight.

You guys are too overwhelmed with the feelings of romance to think clearly about your situation. Brandan, you are a 20-year-old man, and Nickers, you are a 15-year-old girl. You are not peers. I can tell that Brandan is a nice, considerate, good guy; I'm sure that he would be a fine boyfriend for someone who is closer to his age, but this "relationship" is a bad idea.

Her Parents Could Press Statutory Rape Charges

You're correct, Lawyer-Man. The age of consent in Florida is 18.

Let's start with the most basic. The age limit for statutory rape varies from state to state. I don't know what the age of consent in Florida is, but in all likelihood, 15 is too young to consent to sexual intercourse.

They won't press charges if he plays by her father's rules.

Assuming the relationship ever made it to the stage where you two were having sex, Nickers's parents could choose to make your lives miserable by pressing statutory rape charges.

Nickers Should Date Other 15-Year-Olds

But that's really the least important factor involved here. Nickers needs to be 15! She needs to date other 15-year-olds, who don't have that much more or less experience than she does. She needs to go through those learning experiences we all went through at that age: some uncomfortable, some pleasurable, ALL essential. Until she has, she has no business dating someone who is 20.

Experience Levels Should Be the Same

I agree – at 15, she needs lighter, less serious relationships.

The experience levels need to be in the same ballpark. I'm certain that, emotionally speaking, Brandan and Nickers are not even in the same league. (If you require any further evidence, compare and contrast their two messages.)

Entertaining a Fantasy

Brandan,

I can tell that you're a good guy, a nice guy. I know, I've been in your shoes. If you're anything like I was, you probably haven't had all that many girlfriends in your life, and the fact that an attractive girl is interested in you feels good. (She's probably the sort of girl who didn't pay attention to you when you were 15 or 16.)

But really, you're not doing yourself any favors by entertaining this fantasy. Be honest, why did you say in your letter that she was 16, when you know she isn't yet? I think you realize that the age difference is a legitimate concern.

As you can see in my bio, I was in a relationship with a 20-year-old when I was 24. That's approximately the same age gap as Brandan and Nickers have. The difference, however, is that at 20, my girlfriend had the chance to go through a lot of dating and relationship experiences herself. We each had enough experience in relationships to know what we were doing, and what we were getting into. If I could say that about Nickers, I might answer differently.

Your Age Difference Is an Obstacle

But in the harsh light of reality, the difference in your ages amounts to a tremendous obstacle. At this point in your lives, you each should let yourselves find someone closer to your age and level of experience.

– Aaron