Dear Panel,

I am 14, and am really into dance, gymnastics, cheerleading, etc. I am an honor roll student, but I am not perfect. I have had my party stories just like every other junior high girl. I am Mormon, but do not go to church all the time.

Bob drinks a lot, is a player, gets high a lot, doesn't care about school, is 15 (a grade above me in school).

Well, it's not exactly a relationship, and this kinda happened a while ago, but I am still having a really hard time with it, so here it goes:

I Didn't Want To Be There

Me and Bob and two other boys and another girl were just hanging out at one of their houses and I did not want to be there so, I was like "I am going to call my Mom really fast."

And Bob was like "No, don't call her yet, because then you will have to go home."

So I was like "OK, I will stay a couple more minutes," and then tell them I don't feel good and go home.

So I left the kitchen (where all the guys were) for a minute, and I walk back in and they were all getting drunk and it's not like I am totally against drinking, I just felt really uncomfortable around Bob. And I just had a really bad feeling something was going to happen.

So I went to go pick up the phone and was like "I am going to go home."

And Bob ripped the phone out of my hand and threw it back on the hook and was like "No, you're not."

So by this time, I was absolutely terrified, so I just walked off, and Bob came up to me and was like "Sorry, I didn't mean–"

And I was just like "Yeah, sure."

So we were sitting in the kitchen, and Bob was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs and was like "Come, sit on my lap."

And I was like "Why?"

And he's like "Just come sit on my lap."

And I'm like "Well, what if I don't want to?"

He's like "God, I was just trying to be nice."

And me and Bob had kissed once before like a month before this, but I did not like him anymore and we were never even together or anything, he just kissed me once. But back to the story.

He pulled me over to him, and sat me on his lap and was like "See now, was that so hard?"

And I didn't really say anything.

Then he's like "Do you want to make out with me?"

And I was like "No."

He's like "What?"

I'm like "You heard me, I said 'no'. Are you not used to rejection or something?" And I went to go stand up and walk off and he pulled me back down and told one of his friends to hand him a knife, and he did.

And he took it to my throat and was like "What now, ha? Do you want to make out?"

And I did not say anything. I was too scared, and so I had a tear run down his cheek.

And the friend that handed him the knife saw it and was like "Bob, give me the knife now."

And Bob was like "Now back off."

And his friend was like "Bob, now you are drunk and you don't know what you are doing."

So Bob pushed me off of him and gave Darren the knife.

And I was like "I am leaving," and I went to go walk out the door.

And Bob put his foot in front of the door and was like "Don't be stupid. I was just kidding," and would not let me leave.

They Left

So he took my hand and brought me back to this room where everybody else was and then he like looked at his friends and then looked at me and they all got up and left and I went to get up and he went in front of me and shut the door and turned out the light and went and pulled me with him over to the bed and started kissing me and I pulled a way and he pulled me back and this happened a couple of times then he finally just laid on top of me and I couldn't move or go anywhere.

And well, he didn't make me have sex with him or anything like that, but he did finger me and my standards were that I was not going to do anything but kissing until I got to high school and he knew I did not want him to do that. And it's not like I was a type of person who went around doing stuff like that. He was like, the second person I actually kissed.

Was I raped even if he didn't make me have sex with him, or does that kind of stuff happen to everyone?

– Angel Face

Female, age 14, South

Linda, Judith, Jimmy, and Charlie answer this question.