Answers:

Dear Seeking Freedom,

Rid Yourself of This Horrible Relationship

Living in fear is no way of living, and there is no question whatsoever that you must rid yourself of this horrible relationship. It takes a great deal of courage for someone in your position to recognize that there is no love in an abusive relationship, and to make a firm decision to get out of the relationship. Unfortunately, for so many women like you, actually getting away can be a very difficult thing to do.

One thing is for certain, whether or not your husband is bluffing when he says he'll hurt you, you must take him very seriously, and no matter how you proceed, you must make sure to never step outside of a sphere of safety.

Some Men Become Physically Violent

Abuse does not always have to be physical – sometimes emotional abuse is more effective.

It's a sad fact that men who have never actually been physically abusive or violent can become very violent when their spouse or significant other tries to leave them. Certainly, your husband sounds a bit unstable, so it is of utmost importance that you take every precaution and seek assistance in leaving the marriage to ensure that no harm comes to you.

Talk with Trained Professionals

The first thing I would do now is talk to some professionals who have been adequately trained to deal with situations like these, and who deal with women in your situation on a daily basis. There are a few places I would direct you to for more help.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

The first is the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is staffed 24 hours a day. Their number is:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

They should be able to help you out with discussing a way to get out of the relationship safe and sound.

State Hotlines

If you need to find some help closer to home, a listing of hotlines by state (since you live in the US) is available at the following website:

Domestic Violence Hotline List:
http://www.famvi.com/htlines.htm

Leave No Evidence for Him To Find

That's why she should hide her getaway bag someplace he can't find it.

One more bit of advice to you is that after you visit this website, the site I provided above, or any other website dealing with your situation, clear your browser cache and history, so that there is no evidence left behind that you have been looking to get out of the relationship. All it would take is a minute or two of snooping for your husband to put two and two together.

Proceed with Extreme Caution

Though it may often seem so, your situation is not inescapable. It has taken a great deal of courage for you to get to this point, and I know you have the courage to act in your best interests and get out of this relationship ASAP. Just please, proceed with extreme care and caution, and seek the help of professional counselors and agencies who can ensure your safety with each step.

That was a damn good answer.

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