Answers:

Dear Princess,

Two songs come to mind when I read your story:

1. "Old Flames Never Die"
2. "Too Much, Too Little, Too Late"

The question is: "Which song should you play?"

And the answer is: "The choice, at this point, is not up to you."

You're Too Controlling

I agree. And she CAN'T control it since it's all his decision.

I read very subtle "control" phrases in your letter – after harassing him, you are now "giving him time alone" as though HIS time is actually YOURS to give back to him. I would say that you are being overly obsessive, but since the breakup was only a week ago, I think that your reaction is reasonable considering that you just pushed away a good man. It's true that "IT TAKES A SMART WOMAN TO LOVE A GOOD MAN" (a quote from the book Having Our Say.) You have learned that the hard way.

Now, to answer your questions.

Will he change his mind? Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe He's Giving You Time To Grow Up

But no matter what his decision is, you will have to accept it. You might now understand the problem in retrospect, but maybe he was just sick and tired of putting up with your whiny, pouting crap. Maybe he's giving YOU time to grow up. Maybe, in the meanwhile, he'll get with someone else who already knows how to treat him right. Maybe, if he feels like he's lost his best friend, he'll come back to you.

Figure Out How To Behave in a Relationship

I agree. She should look at this as preparation for her next relationship.

But do understand that this time away is not so that he can realize that he needs you, but so that you can figure out what on earth to do when you are involved in your next good relationship – whether it's with him or not.

I'm glad to know that you are going to see a counselor. You go, girl! Understanding that he is not responsible for the upkeep of happiness in your life is crucial.

A relationship should add to your life but it should not determine whether your life is productive and meaningful. If you depend on other people to keep giving you things to make you happy, you will always be sorely disappointed, pouting and whining because it will never be enough.

Try to Maintain a Friendship

In the meanwhile, as your heart aches, you can try to maintain the friendship with him. In the end, that may be what brings the two of you back together and KEEPS you two together.

– Sistergirl

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