Answers:

Dear Ready to Share My Life,

It's Not for a Book To Decide

People who write books on relationships love to cite countless reasons why particular relationships are doomed to fail. Are these "experts" right, or are they just speaking from their very biased personal experiences? I think it's important to take any advice you get from a book (or from a website) with a grain of salt, because what may be true for one person may not hold true for another, and even if the failure of young relationships is indeed the rule, there are always exceptions to that rule.

Whether you and your boyfriend succeed or fail in the long run is not for a book to decide: that's something the two of you will have to decide for yourselves.

You Don't Know Who You'll Become

To put in my two cents on the issue, the potential problems with a relationship/marriage that starts very young have very little to do with "burnout" per se, and more to do with the tumultuous nature of the teenage/pre-collegiate years.

It's not just the ages. They haven't known each other long enough.

You are 15 years old, and your boyfriend is 17. While it's not impossible, it's extremely uncommon for someone your age to have a firm understanding of themselves and how they fit into the world.

I agree. They don't know WHO they will become as adults. They will outgrow each other.

The next few years will likely spark an evolution of thought and identity, during which time you both may develop new interests, new principles, and new needs. Whether or not those evolutions will be congruent is anyone's guess.

You May Outgrow Each Other

There is no maybe. They will change .

I guess it all boils down to the notion that at 15, you probably don't have a clear picture of what you want and need in a spouse, and it's possible that as you progress through your emotional growth spurt, you may outgrow each other. So, if you have any serious doubts in your mind, proceed with caution.

However, if you really believe his is the one for you now and forever, don't let me – or any book – dissuade you.

– Shaggy

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