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Dear Wishfully Waiting,
The problem here is that you are indeed wishfully thinking about
the whole situation.
Your Compatibility Is in Question
While your girlfriend might not be a lesbian, there is the larger
question of your compatibility in every other sense. You have, as
you've noted, fallen in love fast and furiously! But Suzy obviously
has issues she needs to deal with and you have to respect that at
20 and 21, respectively, no one has all of the answers.
I Doubt She Was Manipulated
I doubt that Suzy is being manipulated. No matter what Ryanne's
background and history, Suzy, like yourself, has a mind of her own.
Regardless of who is initiating the contact, the fact remains that
she has had a relationship on the side while still dating you. Perhaps
it is Ryanne's vulnerability and need that interests Suzy. Maybe
it is experiencing part of the "forbidden" regulated by
her religion that offers her a sense of freedom and recklessness.
But, at this time, it's really not up to you to pick apart her motivations.
You Can't Be Together Now
Suzy has broken your trust. Does this mean that you can never be
together? No. But it means that you can't be together NOW. A few
more life experiences on each of your parts is necessary to realize
the possible deep-seated issues in both of you.
She needs to see why she would cheat or involve herself with a
woman, and you need to figure out why you fall in love so quickly
and stay in love, even in bad situations. What are the motivations
behind that?
Figure Out Your Emotions
This is a great learning experience for both of you, more so, a
great growing experience. Don't shut Suzy out of your life, but
build your life using these new lessons and staying focused on your
development. She may want to rely on your help to figure out her
emotions, but you need to focus on you now.
So, it's not necessarily true that "Once a cheater always
a cheater".
But, another saying IS true: "Once bitten, twice shy",
my friend!
– Colleen
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