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Dear Enrico,
She's Not Looking for a Steady Relationship
Of course you're feeling impatient about wanting to jump into a
relationship with her – you already know that you have fallen
for her (or have at least fallen for the prospect of a fresh relationship).
You say you "crave" her. From what you mention about her
reactions, she, on the other hand, is clearly NOT looking for a
steady relationship at the moment.
Both on the Rebound
Both of you are on the rebound, which is certainly a fact to consider.
You admit that you miss your ex and she admits that her ex-fiancé
is still "in her head". Keep this in mind when pursuing
any type of close relationship with this girl.
Mutual Users
You may want to ask yourself if you're clinging to your ladyfriend
because you really love her, or because she's a warm and available
body. Some readers make take umbrage at the idea of a mutual "user"
relationship and say that you using her as a substitute for your
ex and her using you as a substitute for hers is morally wrong,
but I'm not going to make an issue of it.
Honestly, if you decide you're comfortable with that possibility,
by all means wait for this girl for as long as you wish. Just realize
that she might be experiencing those kinds of feelings, whether
you're really in love with her or not.
Pressuring Will Drive Her Away
I'm sure what you'd like to hear is that if you keep placing gentle
pressure on her, she'll gradually come around and you will end up
in an exclusive, loving relationship after a few weeks. Don't count
on it. She's only 18 and has told you flat-out that she wants to
explore. In fact, pressuring her will most likely drive her away
sooner than it will bring her closer to you.
It sounds as if the two of you maintain relatively open lines of
communication, so she's fully aware that you care for her. Now the
ball's in her court. As for how long you should wait for her...well,
that's only for you to determine. How much time do you want to devote
to pining away for her before the possibility of a relationship
is not worth it to you anymore?
Play the Field
I'd personally recommend looking around a bit more yourself; you
can always play the field and then later decide that she really
is the one for you.
Good luck and keep us posted!
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