|
Dear Cabby and "Confused And Tempted",
Communication Breakdown
How can one person in a relationship think that they are with their
soul mate, and the other think that they don't have much in common
and that there is no romance or passion? There has been a serious
breakdown of communication here.
Share Your Passions
The two of you need to have a real talk – not a talk about
the children, the house, the savings or bills, but a talk about
how each of you feel, what your hopes and dreams are, and where
your passions lie. And then you need to set aside some time each
week to fulfill those passions – be they painting, romance,
travel, whatever – sharing some passions and saving some passion
for yourself, individually.
Passion Doesn't Just "Happen"
A marriage takes work from both sides. Don't be fooled into thinking
that passion just exists – that may have worked when you were
17 and just kids yourselves, but doesn't fly now that you are adults.
Grow up and take responsibility for your own happiness and love.
The fantasy of another person may bring some "mind candy"
into your life in the short term, but will cause problems in the
long term. So will blinders to unhappiness in your marriage.
Eleven Years in Common
Be brave, take control, and have a real heart-to-heart. You have
plenty in common – eleven years of history and two children.
Even if you have very different interests, you have a solid base
to build on and learn to love the people you each are becoming.
– Judith
|
