|
To: Confused and Tempted
Marrying Young Gives You No Right to Fool Around
First of all, let's get one thing straight. Just because you were
young when you got married does not mean that you have any more
right to fool around than someone who married in their 30's or 50's.
People change. But they don't stop changing at 17, 30 or even 50.
We're always changing. I don't know you gave this information so
that you'd have an excuse. I just want to clear that up because
I have friends in their 30's saying that their marriages have changed
for the worse. This problem does not discriminate on the basis of
age.
Clue in Your Husband
Secondly, you have to speak with Cabby about this. It sounds to
me like he had no clue that you two weren't The Beavers. Have you
tried letting him know that you're not as happy as you used to be?
What, if anything, could he do to change that? Could you actually
make up a specific list of concrete things that Cabby would have
to say and/or do to make you feel happy? If there is a list, give
it to him. Give him a chance to live up to it.
If there is no such list, then may I suggest that the problem is
not with Cabby but with you; that you're expecting Cabby to do something
that he does not (in and of himself) have the power to do –
and that is to bear the responsibility of your mental and emotional
wellbeing.
You Are Unhappy with Yourself
I believe that JW is really irrelevant. If you're not happy with
yourself (i.e. your unhappy marriage being the byproduct) it will
be impossible for JW, Cabby, or anyone else to fill your void. Perhaps
you have dreams that have gone unrealized. Hopes that you deferred.
Start there. Begin to fulfill your own emotional needs – I'd
suggest through a spiritual awakening.
Avoid the Other Man
Finally, one of the best ways to avoid temptation is to stay away
from it. I'm sure you have or had coworkers that you don't particularly
care for. The same way you would avoid those people, avoid JW. You'll
probably find that he'll be chasing the next pretty young thing
in a skirt before you know it. Don't lower yourself.
Girlfriend, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Tend
to your own lawn and it'll look just as green.
God Bless,
– Sistergirl
|
