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Dear NS,
First of all: where does Mark live, and what is his last name?
Because the exact same thing happened to me, and the guy's name
was Mark.
So here goes the advice:
He's Got a Lot of Girls Like You
The signs that he has totally been using you have been there from
the beginning. Not coming to your house unless no one was around,
the fact that he wanted to sleep with you but not commit to a relationship
says that he has a lot of girls around just like you. The fact that
he constantly talks about other girls means get rid of him.
This guy is just in it for the sex, you are giving him control
by letting him take advantage of your sexuality. He is a pig and
needs to be taught a lesson.
Pretend You're a Virgin
Although he was your first for a lot of sexual endeavors, and you
can't erase that, you can pretend.
The fact that he kept you close after you broke up says that he
knows that he has control and he can use you as a line of support
when no one else will give him what he wants. Because he knows that
you will give him that.
He's Not Being Pressured
He says that you are putting pressure on him!!!! Holy cow, girl,
he's not the one writing to us, so obviously he's not the one being
pressured to do things that he really doesn't want to do.
This guy may have been there for you through the roughest of times,
and seemed like the sweetest of guys, maybe even the one; but you
need to face the reality of the situation. Don't sleep with him
because he wants you to. He's not willing to take your feelings
on this subject into account, so why should you take his into account.
Don't worry about what he will do if you find someone new. He's
gone and found someone new a million times, he's used them like
he has used you, and dropped them like he dropped you.
You Can't Be Friends Unless You're Strong Enough
You can't be friends with him until you are sure that you are strong
enough to say "No" to him and you are sure that you are
strong enough to say "I'm not going to be your leaning stick
anymore." And even then you may have started to see what kind
of a jerk this guy is. That is when you will see that he was never
good for you and he was just using you.
He Wants You To Believe You Can Keep Him By Sleeping with Him
Listen to me girl; you say that the only way you can keep him is
if you give into his sexual desires? Let me ask you something and
give yourself a true and honest answer – Did you keep him when
you gave in last time? He tells you that he still cares about you,
to hit you right in the heart. He knows that you are hurting and
he knows what to say to make you do what he wants you to do. If
he cared he would be in a reltionship with you.
The reason he gets jealous about other guys is because he wants
you to be there when he says "Be there", and if you are
involved with someone else you won't be. You know as well as I do
that this guy is playing you. You are falling into his trap every
time, and when he finds his next victim he'll drop you again and
again and again.
Don't Answer the Door
Honey, there are a million guys out there that are looking for
a sweet girl who really cares about them. You know as well as I
do that you should drop him. Don't take his phone calls. Don't take
his pages. Don't answer the door when he shows up at your place.
Don't talk to him when you see him at a bar or a party.
You have to let him know that he doesn't have control over you
anymore and that you're not a backburner gal.
If you need anything else feel free to email me through bailey@loveandlearn.com,
or use the form below.
– Bailey
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