Dear Lost In Love,

First off, all I can say is WOW! This question takes place over years and years.

First off, I am going to comment on what is going on in Hector's head.

In my opinion, a lot of things are going through his head. At the very beginning, you said that he confessed his feelings to you and you just kind of shrugged them off like it didn't mean anything to you. That was your first mistake.

Hector Was Very Hurt

He was probably very hurt – the way you are now – when you didn't acknowledge the feelings that he was showing you. I'm not saying that you had to get into a relationship with Hector, but you should have told him that you know how he feels about you – and then go on to explain the reasons why you didn't feel that it was acceptable to get into a relationship with him at the current time.

You Hurt Mike, Too

The fact that you knew in your heart from the beginning that you loved him should have told you something. You tried to mask that love by dating someone else, which ended up not only hurting Hector, but hurting Mike, because he was just a substitute for Hector.

Hector Is Confused

I think that Hector is very confused about this whole situation, you both need to sit down with each other and find out if this is really worth putting up a fight for.

Internet Communication Is Not Enough

It seems to me that most of your communication is through the Internet. That's not good enough. You need to be able to see each others emotion and sincerity.

Next, I am going to give you my personal opinion on whether or not this realtionship can be saved, or whether or not there is a point in trying to save it.

Just Let It Go

I agree. She should move on.

To me it seems that this relationship was over long before it started, and I don't think that there is a chance that it can be saved. Although I may be wrong, I also don't know you as people. But if I were you I would just let it go.

You're Blaming Each Other for the Past

You can't keep dredging up the past into your current situations. You are both blaming each other for the pain that you are feeling and yes, fault is to be placed on both of you equally. Like I said before, it's not worth saving, you may be great as friends, but in a relationship together you aren't good for one another. The reasons I say this, is most of your relationship was spent fighting, disagreeing, ignoring each other, keeping distances from one another, crying, missing etc.

You're Not Meant for Each Other

A relationship is built on love and honesty. You have to be able to be totally and utterly blunt about your feelings for one another. Look deep in your heart and I think that you will see Hector isn't for you and he'll see that you're really not for him.

But if you are intent on trying to save this relationship, then all I can say is "Good Luck, if it works I'll be happy for you, If it doesn't well then it wasn't meant to be." I don't really think that much can be done to save this. I see that Hector is still in love with his ex Erin, there is a lot of reference to what she may think.

You Big Mistakes

I think that some of the big mistakes you made in this relationhip were:

1. Disregarding Him

Not confessing or explaining your feelings in the beginning when he told you that he loved you. Shrugging all of his feelings off made him think that you didn't really care as much as you said you did.

2. Giving mixed signals about the way you felt

You always shrugged off his feelings but you said "we always expressed intimate emotions but never let it interfere with our friendship." This is giving him mixed signals totally. You have to communicate verbally, explain why you are doing what you are doing.

3. Dating another guy

It seems to me that you got with this Mike guy because he got with Erin. This is also wrong, you couldn't confess your feelings to Hector so you tried to use Mike as a substitute.

4. Losing contact with one another while in another relationship

Totally wrong, you can't not talk for a year and then expect everything to be the same when the time comes that you do reconcile. You can't get back the past, you can only work on the future.

After talking in the middle of your senior year, he broke up with Erin, I think that the feelings he had for Erin were very strong, but he wanted to feel that way with you again, so by breaking it off with Erin he figured he could get those feelings back – obviously doesn't work like that.

5. Saying "I LOVE YOU"

I disagree. Her problems came because she originally kept her feelings inside.

This is an expression used too freely. Love is a sacred phrase and feeling that gets used too often in the wrong situations, most of the time what you are feeling is lust. Saying "I Love You" means you promise to love and cherish always and forever. Saying it before you were even a couple means it was used as bait, to reel the fish in. The fish took the bait.

6. GOING AGAINST YOUR BELIEFS

You had sex with someone you are not currently involved in a serious relationship with. What did you think you were going to accomplish? That this guy would be yours forever? I hope you at least used protection. Don't have sex until you are ready, don't go against your religious beleifs, don't use sex as a weapon. You did all of the above.

7. Not letting him figure out his feelings

You say you felt neglected when he was trying to rekindle his friendship with Erin; you never had the right to be mad at him for that, he needed time to figure out what he really wanted and who he really wanted.

8. You let him play you like a puppet

You hung off of his every word, even though he had hurt you numerous times before.

I think that the moral of this story is a lot of things, and they have all been outlined in my response.

He Did Wrong, Too

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing you only for all the wrong things you did. He did a lot wrong too, but he's not the one who is writing to me. I think that you should just go on with your life.

You are out of high school now and in college, there are millions of guys out there that will be willing to put some effort into a real relationship.

Hey, go find MIKE.

Let go of this, it's been years now that this is been kindling. LET IT GO. Go have some fun and find someone new.

– Bailey