Dear Panel,

How do I overcome my intense jealousy?

My girlfriend is a very desirable and flirtatious girl, as well as very sweet and caring. I love her very much, and consider myself utterly devoted to her.

She Interacts in a Sexually Flirtatious Manner

She drinks, (we both drink, but...) and when she drinks she changes. She tends to make out with other girls (no prob there, really) and it seems that often the only way she can interact with other people (male or female) is in a very sexually flirtatious manner.

I try and explain that the way she acts in public suggests that she is on the prowl – an available woman, but in talking between the two of us she has made it very clear that I am the only one she wants, and part of me (the part who isn't crazy, heh heh) believes her when she says it. I believe that at heart she is a very trustworthy person, and I do trust her. She is getting fed up with my jealousy, I can tell that though... (as well she should be if my jealousy is unwarranted)

My Jealousy Will Come Between Us

The sex is incredible, and we're very well suited to each other in every other way, it's just my damned jealousy, whether justifiable or not which keeps coming between us, and is going to come between us irrevokably (if she doesn't cheat on me first.... you start to see the problem, hopefully...)

Neither of us are very experienced in loving relationships, so we're learning, but is it my duty to change my jealous ways and accept her constant drunk flirtations, trusting implicitly in her words, or are people who are supposed to be in a loving relationship expected to tone down their sexy behavior regarding the opposite sex?

It's Only a Matter of Time Until She Cheats

I'm kinda in a quandary here, since I love the girl, (and she loves me, mind you, as far as I can tell) but I also feel like a frickin' chump sitting around waiting for her to get drunk and cheat on me. (Which hasn't happened yet, but it seems from my view only to be a matter of time)

I'm the Reason Other Guys Haven't Made Passes at Her

We were talking about it on the phone the other day, and she said that she had even had a few guy friends of hers (and mine) tell her that the "only reason they haven't trying getting it on with me was because of their friendship with you" which I suppose I should be flattered by, but which actually, now that I've thought about it, makes me more concerned about her behavior towards other guys. How is she behaving towards these guys that more than one fellow has felt the need to bring me up as a reason they hadn't made a pass at her?

Man, just in the process of writing this junk down, putting it into words, has made me think that this is a really shady situation, one that isn't worth my time being involved in,
but I love her. And therein lies the rub of it.

So help me out here if you can folks, any input would be appreciated, thanks. :)

Long Distance

(P.S. it just recently became a long distance relationship (her still at college, myself graduated) which kinda throws a monkeywrench into the works.)

Am I just jealous or is she a slut?

Male, age 23, Dakota

Mel, Jimmy, Ren, and Lani answer this question.