|
Dear Dammmed,
Yes, you're jealous. And yes, she's a slut.
Shall I elaborate?
Caring Relationships Imply Exclusivity
You say the two of you are in a loving relationship. If this is
in fact your take on the matter, then she's already cheated on you
in a way. While a little flirting here and there is generally harmless,
being "in love" and being in a "caring" intimate
relationship typically imply exclusivity.
She's Cheating
Your girlfriend is not looking to be tied down just yet –
she's already shown you this by making out with other women! Her
intense sexual flirting and flat-out cheating (yes, I did say cheating)
on you with other women certainly should be setting off the
alarms in your head.
It's Not About Your Jealousy
A lot of people get along swimmingly in relationships like this.
You clearly are not a member of the Free Love society. I mean, seriously,
if her escapades weren't really that big of an issue for you and
weren't causing serious problems for you (in other words, if you
honestly thought this was something you could just brush aside),
would you be writing to us? It's clearly not a matter of whether
or not you're jealous; the only question left up for grabs is whether
or not you're going to put up with it.
A couple of points to keep in mind:
-
Don't blame it on the booze. This excuse has become so
wearisome to me. Alcohol does not magically turn people into slobbering,
fornicating extra-terrestrials without their say-so.
- Don't be so sure that she's not basking in your jealousy
rays - there's a reason she repeatedly mentions all those
guys who seem so eager to bang her.
The cold, cruel facts are that 99% of all people don't generally
change. You can try bringing up these concerns with her if you like,
but don't get your hopes sky-high. If you're content to be one of
her many boy- (and girl-) toys, then have fun and keep your personal
feelings on a short leash.
Get Out Now
Otherwise (and I'd say based on your letter that you definitely
fall into the "otherwise" category), save yourself a lot
of misery and get out of this "relationship" NOW.
|
