Dear Dammmed Confused in Dakota:

Man, that is a situation you have there, brother – let's break it down a little bit.

She's Very Social

First, you are in love with a very social woman, and she feels the same way for you. You on the other hand, are much more reserved and keep the sexual stuff between the two of you. Sounds to me like you guys may have some personality issues to deal with. She is very outgoing with her sexuality and you are not. Some guys can be comfortable with having the flirty girlfriend, others aren't.

Simple as that.

However, we both know it's not that easy. All because of that silly little love thing – it always makes things infinitely more difficult. Of course you don't want to end things with her, you want to work through it. Well, you need to ask yourself some questions:

Have Either of You Changed?

Has she always been like this? I mean, has she always been so flirty?

And are you the one that's changed and not noticed? Think back to when you two first started seeing each other. Were you both flirting with other people? Think about that stuff for a second or two.

Alcohol and Desire Are Like Peanut Butter & Jelly

Also, you mentioned the thing about her friends that want to get together with her. That may be a problem – on top of the long distance? I'm not saying she'll sleep around on you, but those two don't make good bedfellows, man.

Oh, come on. You can't blame it on the booze.

She likes to flirt (and drink) and friends of hers have admitted to wanting to sleep with her, and you're not around – like I said, alcohol and desire are like peanut butter and jelly – they just go together.

You Don't Trust Her

You say you trust her, but inside you probably don't.

If you did, then you wouldn't have a problem. She seems to enjoy having fun even though she doesn't see that her good times are rough times for you. Maybe she loves you, but doesn't know if this is what she wants.

I had a friend that fooled around on his girlfriend of three years all because he wasn't sure if he still wanted to be with her. It had nothing to do with love; he knew that, but the question of "what if" popped into his head – and now, he may be packing his things.

Don't Let Her Hurt You

After all of this, I still don't think I answered your question. You asked if her wild ways may be a problem, and is your jealousy just as bad? Honestly, dude – it sounds like she may be experimenting – and we all do that at times, but when it directly hurts someone else, then it becomes a problem. If she is hurting you, don't sit around and let her. Stop it.

Don't Break up, But Explain How You Feel

Of course, I'm not saying break up with her, you should explain how she makes you feel. Hopefully, she'll appreciate your honesty and return it with some of her own. You may not like what she has to say, but at least you'll have your answer.

– Ren