Dear Actively Confused,

I don't really know what to tell you, except that everybody has their own definitions for everything.

It is my understanding that someone who would define themselves as sexually active is someone who has had sex and is currently involved in a relationship involving intercourse.

Oral Sex Counts

I think that it's important to also remember that some people who consider oral sex as having had sex, may also consider being involved in a physical relationship with no intercourse but with oral sex as being sexually active.

It Means Currently Having Sex

No, it means you've had sex.

I think there is definitely a difference between being sexually active and having had sex. Those who are sexually active I would say would classify themselves as such if they are currently involved in a physical relationship involving sexual intercourse.

If you were to ask someone who is not a virgin but who is also not physically involved, I would venture to say that their response would be that they are NOT sexually active. If you asked a virgin who was involved in a physical relationship without any intercourse if they are sexually active, their response, I would imagine, would be "no" simply because the term "sexually active" usually has some kind of association with the actual act of sexual intercourse.

Being Sexual Is Different from Being Sexually Active

I think it is also important to realize that someone can be "sexual" and not "sexually active." When one dicusses being sexual, it can include mannerisms, masturbation, behavior patterns, etc. Being sexual does not necessarily mean being "sexually active."

I hope that this sheds some light on the subject for you.

Remember, you can classify yourself as whatever you want to, but keep in mind that if you label yourself as "sexually active," regardless of your own definition, most people DO relate that to the idea that you have had or are having sex.

– Foxy