Dear Panel,
I've met someone who has most of the wonderful
qualities that I seek in a man. He's fun, confident, happy
and loves life. We have non-stop talks that never get dull.
I feel positive and upbeat in his company.
Why have I all of a sudden started focusing
on shallow, materialistic 'nit-picks?'
He is a fashion mishap.
He seems to be cheap; I always have to pay for
most date activities. He's a lousy tipper.
I find his 'gropey' affection in public to be
inapropriate.
Whew! I sound horrible, I know. But lately,
I am so turned off by these things. I'm just being honest.
I've always wanted a man who was cultured –
not pinkies-up – but arts-minded. He is so not there!
To his credit, he is the most wonderful person on the inside,
and I'm trying to focus on that.
Mare,
I can relate to your phase of feeling like guys weren't cool
enough for you. How do I get over this?
-- N (pathetically still
concerned with coolness)
Female, age 30, Vancouver, BC, Canada
Charlie,
Jeannie,
Judith,
and Lefty
answer this question.
