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Dear N,
These "nit picks" represent other things.
Do you agree on money issues? Do you place the same value on service
at a restaurant or elsewhere? Do you have the same tastes in pop
culture, fashion, arts, and do you find these things equally important?
First, you have to acknowledge what you find important.
Then, you have to find out what your date finds important.
Be Interested in How He Thinks
These things can make just as interesting conversations as all
the other things you talk about – just don't accuse each other
or say that one opinion is better than others. Just decide that
you are interested in how he thinks and feels about these things,
rather than getting mad about how he acts them out.
Talk About Your Differences
This will be a good skill if you ever live with each other –
it is a much better conversation to talk about why you think dishes
should be done in one day and he thinks a week is just fine, than
it is to talk about why you hate the fact that he never does the
dishes.
– Judith
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