Dear Loveless,

I am so glad that you recognize that having sexual relations after three weeks is far too soon. I really think that you're underestimating the true nature of men and women and how sex plays such a vital role in the search and/or securing of "love", as many would define it. For more info on that one, read my bio.

The good news: you are right about one thing – it's time for all of this cluelessness to stop.

You've been in the game far too long to still be playing pitty-pat with your emotions and feelings – not to mention your body.

Your Love Life Mirrors Your Entire Life

I believe that your love life (or the shallowness thereof) is simply a mirror into your entire life. Check me on this one: is your life full of stuff that you started but never finished? Do you quit on a new project or endeavor when you become disenchanted?

Change Your Patterns

If you've got a pattern of starting but not finishing, giving up during the trial and error part and/or rushing into things without a plan, it's no wonder your relationships are turning out this way. IF IT'S A PATTERN, IT'S NOT RANDOM.

And it is not only within your ability to change it, it is your responsibility to do so.

Stop Being Only "Good Enough"

And before you say, "You just described half of America," I'll let you know that I agree with you. It's not that hard to be like half of all America. Half of us are divorced. Half of us have some kind of addiction. Half of us are looking for love in all the wrong places. If you want to get serious about your life, you'll have to stop feeling like being "half of America" is good enough. [Americans are great people, but you've got to admit – we do have unresolved issues – Hello!]

Put Aside Relationships for a While

Put this whole relationship thing aside for a while. Focus on YOU. Thirty-seven years from now, what will you have accomplished? What will people say about you at your funeral? What will your contribution have been?

I agree. She has to figure out what makes her different from the other girls.

These are deep things – but that's where you need to go, girlfriend. You are 37. You're right, you should have a clue by now. But don't be too down on yourself if you don't. It's never too late to start.

I suggest that you start by looking at your spirit. What are your passions? Take time to develop them. What is your purpose on earth?

Associate with Others Who Have a Clue

Start associating yourself with people who have a clue. People who are going somewhere and not simply running around in circles. Find out how they think. Find out what makes them tick. Then carve your own little niche out of all that you gather.

Listen to your Spirit

Now about this whole thing of breaking up with him before he broke up with you so that you wouldn't feel dumped. I'm glad that it bothers you. Believe it or not, your spirit does have a clue. You just have to listen to it. When you feel that little "ting", pay attention to it.

Here's the deal: we all want to feel loved. And we all shy away from things that might make us feel unloved. Some of us do it in a roundabout way, but that's the gist of it. If you knew that you were loved (and you already are: by God), whether or not John Doe loved you wouldn't mean as much.

Especially since guys have such short attention spans.

We all have feelings. But don't put your feelings into the hands of another human being. You are bound to be disappointed every time.

You're More Concerned with Appearances than Reality

Finally, if you are still judging people by what they look like, again that's just a mirror into you. You are concerned more with what things look like than how they really are. You are more concerned with appearances than reality. It's symptomatic, my sister.

The real issue is that there is nothing solid inside of you, so you wouldn't even know how to begin looking for internal qualities in another person. How can you find something when you can't even feel what you're looking for?

Seek Wisdom

Get some priorities. Seek wisdom. Seek out what on earth it is you're supposed to be doing for the rest of your days and I guarantee you – you won't have to deal with this any more.

Love Ya!
– Sistergirl