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Dear Arianna,
Take All Possible Measures To Protect Yourself
If any sexual activity that would allow sexually transmitted
diseases to be passed from your boyfriend to you is a real
possibility in your relationship, then you must take all possible
measures to protect yourself.
If you have factual information about his ex (in other words,
if you've heard firsthand from her conquests about how they
caught her in the act with their roomie/ cousin/ uncle/ grandpa),
then make a decision about the maximum risk you're willing
to take in sleeping with her ex-boyfriend.
Treat Every Guy as Suspect
Wait, let me take that a step further – treat EVERYONE
you consider sleeping with as if their exes were all caught
in the act with someone's roomie/ dad/ German shepherd.
Rumors Aren't Reason Enough To Get Tested
But rumors, if that's all they really are, are not solid
reasons to flat-out demand that he get an HIV test.
This is more of an issue of protecting yourself than anything
else. DO NOT consider sex without a condom, first of all.
Beyond that, it's really up to you.
Tell Him in Person
If he's really as oblivious to what went on with his ex as
you seem to think, then throwing all of this in his face will
likely make him think you're jealous or just trying to slam
her. He'll also likely balk at the idea of getting tested.
Such a reaction would be pretty understandable and since
this is such a delicate situation, you should definitely broach
the subject in person.
Dump Him If He Won't Get Tested
If he does accept these possibilities, however, there's really
no excuse for him not to consent to getting tested, condom
user or not. If he still refuses, kick him to the curb.
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