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Dear Arianna,
Why would you even want to open up that kind of baggage?!?
A Person Is Entitled to Keep the Past in the Past
Past is always the past. And a person is always entitled to keep
it that way. Regardless of present relationships, but you are right
– when it comes to a person's sexual history (especially in
this day and age) you have some right to personal information –
SOME, not all.
Don't Bring Up His Ex
What I suggest is that you have a real talk with him. Without bringing
up his ex girlfriend. Let him know that because he has had a sexual
relationship, you would feel more comfortable if he had some testing
done.
Get Yourself Tested
Also, I feel that relationships are a two-way street. You should
also get STD testing done. Just because you haven't had actual sexual
intercourse does not mean you cannot get infected. If you get tested
too, he will probably be more open to the suggestion.
Don't Even Mention His Ex
As for his ex girlfriend, you have no right to tell him what you
HEARD!!! Never bad mouth an ex – or you'll just end up looking
like a bitter girlfriend. Whether she is a slut or not, is no concern
of yours. Nor is it your duty to tell your boyfriend. If she has
such a bad reputation, your boyfriend will find out eventually.
But if you want to keep on good terms with your boyfriend –
don't ever mention his ex.
Talk Soon Over the Phone or in Person
Timing is always important when discussing personal issues. However,
it is never too late to talk about sexual intercourse.
Whether it be over the phone or in person – do it as soon
as possible. Don't be judgemental, just explain to him your concerns
and tell him the truth of how you feel. Beating around the bush
has never accomplished anything.
And whatever you discuss – please make sure it is only your
problems. I can't stress enough the importance on keeping his ex
out of the picture. Your boyfriend will thank you for it.
Hope I've Helped,
– Mel
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