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Dear Dizzy_Devil_x3,
Chat Room Romances Lead To Trouble
Though it has worked for a select few, for the most part, looking
for romance on a chat room only leads to a boatload of trouble.
And you, sir, have quite a mess on your hands.
To be quite honest, I find it somewhat hard to believe that you
could mistake 12 for 21, or even for 19. While girls may physically
mature at a very young age, their emotional development lags far
behind, and you must have realized that something was not quite
right with the situation.
Knowing All Along She Was Too Young
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope that you didn't know
she was that young all along, and you're just turning to us now,
because you're afraid you might get caught.
You and Heather Cannot Be Together
There is a clear and correct answer to this situation, so I'll
get it out on the table now: you and Heather simply cannot be. The
laws of this country clearly state that any liaison between you
and someone of her age is expressly illegal, and a punishable offense.
These laws exist for a reason: they're designed to protect young
kids from being sexualized before they are mentally, emotionally,
and physically capable to enter the sexual arena. They also exist
to prevent older people from taking advantage of young kids while
they are still in this fragile stage of development.
Your situation is a prime example of why we have these laws. Here
you have a girl who at the age of 12 is developmentally incapable
of true romantic love, but who lacks the life experience and the
cognitive and emotional capacity to comprehend her feelings. So
now, she thinks she is in love, and sees no future for herself other
than one with you, and is threatening to harm herself.
Take Her Threats Seriously
That is a major problem, because while she may be incapable of
love at this age, she is certainly capable of carrying out her threats.
You have to take these threats seriously, and so you're left with
a situation where you must diffuse a bomb. Cut the red wire instead
of the blue, and this could explode into a very grave situation.
Help Her Understand Why It Must End
You have to get out of this situation, but you must exit very gracefully
so that she does not make those threats a reality. She needs to
understand that your relationship was founded on untruths, the realities
of which make it impossible for you to be together. Help to illustrate
that the age difference between the two of you will create a bunch
of problems both within and outside a relationship.
And reassure her that she has many years ahead of her to find love
and romance, and that she'd be better off looking for romance in
her own age group.
Get Her Help If She Persists in Her Threats
If she persists in her threats, then you need to get her some
help immediately.
In the future, if you're going to use a chat room to pick up women,
bear in mind the fact that many people use those anonymous forums
to be someone who they are not in real life.
Tread very carefully, and if you decide to ask someone out who
you think is 21, remember that this is most likely a falsehood if
she has you pick her up from middle school.
– Shaggy
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