Dear Panel,

I am an 18-year old-male currently in a 7-month-old relationship, with (what I can only describe as) an anger management problem.

My girlfriend is a wonderful girl who has put up with so much from me. She constantly claims to love me and this has been most evident recently as she has stayed in this relationship after I have dealt her so much grief.

Verbal Abuse

Over 7 months ago, my great girlfriend asked me out after we had known each other for over a year. Things started well, but recently I have been taking her for granted and (I admit) treating her poorly (in terms of verbal abuse – not physically or sexually or anything like that).

I have trouble dealing with her sometimes, partly I assume because of jealousy and partly due to her spending time with her friends (whom I am not very fond of), and I take things out on her, often by either not speaking to her or verbally abusing her , calling her names and swearing.

Her Issues

Several months ago at the beginning of the relationship, she had many issues of her own such as self mutilation and anorexia, but we have seen these through with both support and porfessional help. She has stood by me, telling me that she loves me throughout this whole time, what must be 2 months, and I have continued to be an insensitive jerk and hurting her.

I Fear I I Will Resort to My Old Ways

Only now, after reading an article on teen relationship abuse, have I decided to do something about it, I am utterly sick of mistreating her and I want to give her the respect she deserves. I often think like this, and I am very nice to her sometimes, yet I fear – even after my new-found dedication – that I will resort to my old ways.

Please, what do you suggest?

Should I seek help (is it that bad or neccessary) or should I end the relationship for her well-being?

(Any other suggestions welcome.)

Male, age 18, Australia

 

Mel, Shyann, Austin, and Michayla answer this question.