| Dear Shyann,
I've been in this situation too!
When I first realised I was bisexual, I confided in an old school
friend, who was also bi, and similarly nervous and closeted. We
were really good friends, and did lots of things together, but slowly
realised there was more to it.
We were very anxious about taking it further, because we didn't
want to lose the friendship, whatever happened. In the end, we decided
that if we didn't go for the
relationship, we'd never know if it would have worked, and we'd
be always wondering.
It Was Worth Trying
So we went out for a while. It was great for a bit, and then we
went back to separate universities and things got more difficult.
We did split up, and for a while it was hard to talk, but after
a few months things got back to normal. It was worth having tried
for a relationship, even though it didn't work out for us.
It seems to me that if you're interested in this guy, and you want
to take things further, you should, or you will never know what
could have happened.
He Sounds Very Shy
However, he sounds very shy indeed, so it could be hard. I find
it odd that he says 'the reason he doesn't talk much is because
when you talk too much you usually end up messing up frienships'.
Maybe He's Protecting Himself
To me, the basis of friendships, and any relationship at all, is
that you talk and you share things you enjoy. If you don't communicate
it's really hard to get to know someone.
Talking and opening up to someone requires you to be vulnerable,
though, and open to being hurt – maybe his shyness is an effort
to protect himself from that.
Go for It, or You'll Regret It
My advice is that you should go for it if you're interested, or
you may well always regret not doing so; if it goes wrong, it *is*
possible to save a friendship out of it, if you're honest and mature
about the whole thing.
Do Things Where the Emphasis Is Not on You and Him
Since he is so quiet and shy, perhaps you should do low-key 'friends'
things first. Inviting him to the park where you work sounds like
a good idea. Try to get to know him and get him to open up –
it might take a while. You could also do things where the emphasis
is not on you and him having to make conversation, especially if
he thinks you'll find him boring. Going to the cinema, theatre,
concert, activities like bowling, anything where there is something
to do as a focus other than you two helps on this one.
A lot of that might have sounded like basic common sense, but I
hope it was reassuring.
Good luck, and remember – if he's shy, go slow!
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