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Dear Golden Gumby Princess,
You are, no doubt your Mom and Dad's princess, and will undoubtedly
be the princess of several young men as you mature. As for whether
or not you should date one boy, or several, at one time when you
already have one special boy in your life, well...
Believe it or not, my great-grandmother was married at the age
of 13!!!!! Of course, I doubt she lived past her 30's, if that long.
We No Longer Have To Rush into Marriage
Modern times have changed the way we think about relationships
and love and marriage. People live longer, have premarital sex more
often, and have protections against pregnancy which didn't exist
years ago. Women rarely die in childbirth as they often did then,
and we have antibiotics and immunizations which mean people don't
have to rush into marriage and childbearing. However we do have
to get along with our chosen partners longer, or else part and choose
new ones.
As shocking as it may seem, only about 100 years ago, when a women
went through puberty and got her period, it was time to get married;
so when you ask about having a steady boyfriend at 15, it is really
not that big a deal.
You Have a Lot of Growing Ahead
Except that you ARE still a baby, and so is he. It is way too early
to commit to a permanent relationship with one person, because you
have so much growing to do, emotionally, spiritually, even physically,
and certainly intellectually. You will be a much different person
at 25, 35, 45, 55, etc. You will certainly be better able to judge
your needs in a life partner at age 25 than you are now. Don't take
yourself quite so seriously – you have too many miles yet to
go!
You Need Close Girlfriends
Of course you seek the intimacy, understanding, support and sharing
you have with any good relationship. As a 50-year-old woman who
has been married 30 years, I can tell you that what you need the
most at 15 is CLOSE GIRLFRIENDS with whom to share secrets and makeup,
ones you can keep a lifetime. Women relate to and understand each
other better than men do. They really are from another planet –
they feel differently and react differently to emotional and physical
issues.
Good Friends Are the Best Advisors
Men will come and go in your life, but good friends are the real
keepers. They are the best sounding boards about life's problems,
they are the fairest judges of our inadequacies and the best advisors
to share with. If you are lucky, you will have 3 or 4 good, lifelong
friends. If you are lucky, you will find a man to be a lifetime
soulmate, a special lover – but you need to learn self-esteem,
self-sufficiency and self-respect first, and how to relate to your
friends and peers.
I hope this has been helpful.
–
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