Dear Panel,
I am a 22-year-old female who works part time (24 hours a
week). I also do volunteer work with four different organizations
that total 10 hours per week. I graduated high school with
honours and a scholarship and went on to college. I currently
love my job and love life. All of my volunteer work deals
with working with palliative seniors, young adults and children
mainly. Many are physically and/or mentally challenged. I
am telling you this because I want to demonstrate my understanding,
unselfishness, love, and patience. I have no children and
have never been married.
My Boyfriend Is Legally Separated
My boyfriend of 2 and a half years is currently 44 years
old. He has been legally separated from his first wife for
13 years. She lives in a different state. They have a 15-year-old
daughter together, who lives with the mother. My boyfriend
is a good father when his daughter comes to visit and does
pay child support.
We do not live together, but plan to in the spring. He is
employed full time.
I Want Children for the Right Reasons
I know a lot of young women want children at my age (22).
But I feel so many of them want children for the wrong reasons.
They may see it as an easy way out of finding real employment,
having a man to financial 'provide' for them, having a baby
so that they have someone to love, etc. whatever.
But I truly feel it is my 'time' to have a baby, there's
many things 'driving' me in this direction. Nobody is pressuring
me, I feel I am ready for a baby now because I am educated,
employed, have a good family support system, have a lot of
love to give, and am eager to share new life experiences with
a child of my own, teach them things and how wonderful the
world is.
My Boyfriend Says He's Not Ready
Problem is, my boyfriend says he is not ready – which
I respect – but I feel like since he already has a child,
and since he's already been married, he's just making empty
promises and his intentions on marrying me and having any
more children aren't going to be honoured.
Should I stay or should I move on to someone who may be on
the same "wavelength" as me?
Female, age 22, Canada
Sabrina,
Jeannie,
Karrie,
and Lefty
answer this question.
