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Dear Apsara,
I think it's great that you want to have a baby for all the "right"
reasons.
Really. Just great.
Bypassing Love
I mean, some people might think that being "in love"
with their significant other would be the start of having a family,
but you are able to zoom by that. Or at least I assume you have
zoomed by that as you have never mentioned "loving" your
boyfriend as one reason to start a family with him.
He's Not Ready
And he says that "he's not ready". Jeepers, what would
give you the first clue on that? The fact that he's not even divorced?
The fact that he doesn't live in the same town with his child?
He is a "good father" because he plays with his kid when
she comes to town and "pays child support"?
OK, here's the deal. Yes, he's probably not ready. He might be
ready by the time you're his age, but that would make him...pretty
old.
You're Not Ready
I know you have a lot of love to give and are a totally smart and
giving person, but news flash here honey: you're not ready either.
You don't have a full-time job, you are seeing someone who is 20
years your senior and is not in the same place in his life, and
you don't have the smarts to piece together what will happen in
your life if you have a baby now.
Wait for a Real Relationship
So wait a few years until you get into a real relationship (like
MARRIAGE maybe) and can give a little more to your baby.
This guy seems like a loser, but you can do anything you want with
him except bring a kid into a bad relationship.
– Lefty
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