Dear Panel,
I am 23 years old and I have been married to
my husband since I was 18. We dated since right before my
16th birthday. My husband is 24. We dated in high school (he
was a year ahead of me). He joined the Marine Corps –
we got married after he was in for 2 years.
He Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore
My husband has told me that he loves me, but
he is no longer in love with me, and he doesn't want to be
married anymore.
His Friend
He has been friends with this girl for over
a year. He has told me – and I believe him – that
their relationship is not physical, but I feel like he's been
cheating on me emotionally. I have met her several times,
and she has always been nice to me. He tells me they're just
friends, and I believe him, but it's the nature of their friendship
that bothers me.
He'll ditch me to go hang out with her.
I have told him that I don't have a problem
with their friendship, but I do have a problem with the type
of relationship they have now, and I have asked him to make
changes in their relationship so they are more like friends,
and less like boyfriend and girlfriend.
I want to work on our marriage, but he says
it's too late. I truly don't believe that it is. We just bought
a house together 6 months ago, and we have been intimate.
But I was finally so sick of their relationship,
I told him that it might be time to separate. This is what
he's been saying he wanted. He's been sleeping on the couch
ever since then, and he hasn't looked for a place yet, although
I believe he will. I don't know if this is the right thing
to do. I was hoping that by separating, we could maybe start
dating again, and try to rebuild our relationship.
The problem is, I'm not sure if he is in love
with her or not. I desperately want to work this out with
him. I don't know how much space I should give him.
Should I continue being intimate with him, or
make him miss me?
What is the best advice you can give me on how
we can rebuild our marriage?
Female, age 23, West Coast USA
Lauren,
Shaggy,
Ren, and
Jennae
answer this question.
