Dear Struggling:

First and foremost, it's hard to save a relationship when the other half doesn't want to. That seems to be the situation. You love someone who loves someone else.

You Can't Save It

Falling in love is hard enough, falling out of it is even worse. Especially when a marriage is the casualty. You asked how to save your relationship? You already know the answer. You can't.

Why not? His heart belongs to someone else. That's the bottom line. No matter how hard you try, you would be the only one trying. Swimming against the current is difficult, and alone its only harder. A thought that may cross your mind may be 'How could he just give up? Not care anymore?' You have every right to think that way. He took vows to be by your side until death. So how does someone just ignore those words?

It's His Call

You're right, he doesn't love her anymore.

It's not up to you to resolve things. It's his call. Honestly though, do you deserve to wait for him to realize what he's done? I understand you do love him...but didn't he say he wasn't in love with you anymore? How can you spend the rest of your life with a husband that isn't in love with you? If you do decide to hang on for the both of you, just remember that you are not the one who needs to change.

Do not change yourself to suit him. If he doesn't love you for who and what you are, then that's too bad for him.

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