Dear Totally Confused College Girl,

Having Four Great Guys Is Not Life-Threatening

Okay – before you start talking suicide, realize the problem you have first. You have not one, but FOUR great guys that like you and you feel that's a life-threatening problem?!? Sorry if I don't have any pity for you.

But you asked for a solution, so this is what I think.

1. Tell Adam You're Not Ready

First: be honest with Adam. Let him know that you aren't at that stage in your relationship to be totally committed. There is no getting around this because if you lie, you'll end up hurting him and possibly losing him forever. He'll respect you more if you're honest.

2. Don't Promise What You Can't Deliver

Second: if you aren't ready to commit to any of these guys, DON'T!!! Do not promise things you can't deliver. I understand you like them and it's good that you are honest with them about your feelings, but you are letting these guys think that they are the only ones.

3. Date All Four, But Let Them Know

Get serious. She shouldn't date any of them.

Third: no one said that you have to commit to one person. You can date all these guys at the same time. Nothing wrong there – you're in college – that's life. Only problem is that your guys should know your situation. And dating 4 guys each "exclusively" – they are bound to find out. And I promise you – it will get ugly. Let these guys know that you like them but they aren't the only one.

4. Let Them Go If You Can't Decide

Fourth: if you really can't decide, let them go. I mean ALL of them. And letting them go means accepting that they can date other girls.

So I suggest you just take time to yourself to figure out what it is you really want. If these guys care about you as much as you say they do, then they'll wait. Whoever doesn't isn't the one.

5. Deal with Your Issues

Fifth? She has to deal with herself FIRST.

Fifth: I suspect that you have some issues that you need to deal with. Most importantly your self-esteem. Having boys like you doesn't mean you are worth more. The more you love yourself, the more guys will love you. And I mean really love you. I think you are just infatuated and flattered by all the attention you are receiving.

Since you don't know if you love one of them - then you are NOT! When you fall in love, you'll know.

6. Relax

Last thing: RELAX!!! There are worse things in life than your problems and if you freak this much about this than I am scared for your sanity when the s$%t (excuse my french) really hits the fan.

Hope I've Helped,

– Mel